Nasreddin Hodja in Our World
20 most recent entries

Date:2016-04-01 23:10
Subject:Nasreddin Hodja enters our world
Security:Public

After enjoying more than half a millennium of existence in Heaven (about seven-hundred years, by his own count), Nasreddin Hodja came to Allah, complaining:
"Dear God, forgiving and merciful, please do something to Earth, so that more people would end up here. Without newcomers from down there, existence in Heaven is becoming, well, boring. I would suggest to bring more justice and laughs to the people of Earth."
Allah contemplated Nasreddin's advice for a brief moment, then answered smilingly:
"You are quite right, Molla Nasreddin. I shall load your donkey with a hefty luggage of justice and laughs and send it down to Earth."
In less than a blink of an eye, Nasreddin Hodja found himself riding his donkey along a dusty gravel road on Earth.

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Date:2012-10-20 13:46
Subject:Promoting tolerance. You're doing it wrong! (part 1)
Security:Public

To make ends meet, Nasreddin Hodja and his friend Halim decided to sign up for a construction job in the misty city of St. Petersburg in the far-away Russian land. Upon arrival, as they boarded the bus at the airport that was going to take them to the construction site, the foreman distributed an illustrated booklet titled "Migrant Worker's Handbook" (also available in Tajik, Uzbek and Kyrgyz languages) that was supposed to help newcomers to better integrate into the life of "Russia's cultural capital". The web address of the publisher reads spbtolerance.ru, undoubtedly referring to St. Petersburg tolerance.

Upon seeing the illustrations, Halim's blood boiled over with righteous anger.

"Look at those pictures! Those Russians don't even think of us as human beings! Migrant workers are being depicted as mere tools: a brush, a painting roller, a trowel and a broom!" he exclaimed. "The local doctor, policeman, bureaucrat and tourguide are humans, however. Superheroes, even. Intolerant racist xenophobes!"

migrants

"Calm down, my friend!" said the foreman with a big smile on his broad nordic face. "There is nothing disparaging in those depictions. The authors just wanted to avoid drawing caricatures of ethnic stereotypes." he continued. "Moreover, as the German proverb goes: Good tools are half the work."

To which Nasreddin Hodja calmly replied: "But we arrived to provide the other half."

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Date:2012-09-28 02:41
Subject:From KGB archives
Security:Public



Committee of State Security (Rus. abbr. KGB) of USSR
10/24/91, filing №1953/II
Moscow

PSEUDONYM CARD

Pseudonym: Whitey


  1. Surname: Obamov

  2. First name: Boris

  3. Patronymic: Husseinovich

  4. Year of birth: 1961

  5. Place of birth: Gizhduvan, Uzb. SSR

  6. Home address: Homeless

  7. Place of work, position: USA, president

  8. Party membership: United Russia, since 2004

  9. Ethnicity: Uzbek

  10. Citizenship: RF

  11. Education: Military academy




Personal file №13013
Category: saboteur
Date of recruitment: August 4, 1981
Recruiter: Putin, V. V.
Division #3, KGB USSR

Approved by: Medvedev, D. A.

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Date:2012-07-11 23:50
Subject:Wisdom of the Day
Security:Public

"If you wish to observe a human and learn about their soul, you should not delve into how he keeps silent or how he talks, or how he cries or even how he gets excited about the noblest of ideas. Instead, take a good look at how he laughs. A good laugh means he's a good person. For laughing is the most truthful sample of the soul."
Fyodor Dostoevsky, XIXth century Russian sage.


Dostoevsky Day celebrations in St. Petersburg, Russia.
Photographed by petrosphotos

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Date:2012-02-28 00:36
Subject:Englishman in Shymkent
Security:Public


GlossaryCollapse )

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Date:2011-12-30 14:00
Subject:Wisdom of the day
Security:Public

"Food, Ivan Arnoldovich, is a subtle thing. One must know how to eat, yet just think - most people don't know how to eat at all. One must not only know what to eat, but when and how.' (Philip Philipovich waved his fork meaningfully.) 'And what to say while you're eating. Yes, my dear sir. If you care about your digestion, my advice is — don't talk about bolshevism or medicine at table. And, God forbid — never read Soviet newspapers before dinner."

Mikhail Afanasievitch Bulgakov, 1925

"Actually there is evidence that even humans would not easily lose brain function with age if they followed a regimen of stochastic exercise and stochastic fasting, took long walks, avoided sugar, bread, white rice, and stock market investments, and refrained from taking economics classes or reading such things as The New York Times."

Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 2010

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Date:2011-08-20 18:36
Subject:Yor-Yor-Yorone!
Security:Public
Mood:cheerful

This blog wishes a long, happy and fruitful marriage to jasur, our friend in Samarqand! Cheeeeeeers!

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Date:2011-05-15 02:11
Subject:Chayhana (teahouse)
Security:Public

"What a sky without a Moon, what a life without a teahouse?"



crude English translationCollapse )

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Date:2011-05-12 09:43
Subject:Three Mile Smile
Security:Public
Mood:happy

Our friend from Samarqand, jasur, has just emerged with enormous riches from the inexhaustible source of smiles. Enjoy!





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Date:2011-01-10 14:07
Subject:The Empire's Golden-Domed Capital
Security:Public

"Moscow is the Third Rome!"



"Moscow is the Second Istambul!"

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Date:2010-08-11 14:16
Subject:Moscow Smog
Security:Public

To make ends meet, Nasreddin Hodja took up the job of a cab driver in Russia's golden-domed capital. As it happens, the worst heatwave in recorded history clouded Moscow in a thick smog due to forest fires in the surroundings. Invariably, all conversation with passengers turned to weather sooner rather than later.
As he was taking a foreign passenger fleeing the hellish weather to the train station, the long-awaited rain began to fall.
"Finally, it's raining!" enthused the foreigner.
"Why the Ramadan begins tomorrow, so of course it started to rain." offered Nasreddin Hodja the obvious explanation.

Paraphrased from here.

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Date:2010-03-10 11:19
Subject:Full-duplex wife
Security:Public

"What does half-duplex mean?" asked Nasreddin Hodja from his friend, Tair.

"It means that the two communicating parties transmit and receive sequentially," explained Tair. "When one is transmitting, the other is receiving and then they switch. They never talk at the same time."

"I should try that with my wife!" enthused Nasreddin.

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Date:2010-02-16 09:04
Subject:Snowy Samarqand
Security:Public



More photos from jasur

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Date:2010-02-06 16:29
Subject:From Bishkek to Almaty
Security:Public



with English subtitles

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Date:2010-01-09 00:34
Subject:Tajik buybl
Security:Public

Via diana_cafard:


an attempt at English translationCollapse )

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Date:2010-01-03 17:13
Subject:People of Samarqand
Security:Public

What kind of people inhabit the ancient city of Samarqand these days? jasur has an illustrated catalog of the most typical personalities and characteristic characters.

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Date:2009-12-24 11:44
Subject:The name of the game? Football!
Security:Public

Cristiano Ronaldo in Tashkent, Uzbekistan juggling with local youth:

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Date:2009-12-06 03:25
Subject:Do not touch the ends of electrical cables!
Security:Public

Posters in Moscow's newest airport, still under construction:



via tema.

In Russian, Uzbek and Turkish languages, just in case.

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Date:2009-11-22 23:26
Subject:Where have all the plane trees gone?
Security:Public

Nasreddin Hodja went out for a walk to the park surrounding Tamerlane's statue in Tashkent. The picture that greeted him was nothing short of shocking:

Tamerlane

Most of the area has been cleared of the century-old plane trees that used to give people much-needed shade during the summer.

"Well, our rulers got much better, indeed, in the past seven centuries." concluded Nasreddin. "Tamerlane used to do that to people."

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Date:2009-11-08 13:22
Subject:The Marvelous TV Tower #2
Security:Public

After working some time for the TV, Rashid invited Nasreddin Hodja to the TV studio. He thus explained Nasreddin the workings of the TV:
"See, every family has a TV at home and they watch it every day for several hours. They believe whatever the TV says. It just becomes true"

"No way," exclaimed Nasreddin in disbelief. "I can surely make something up that is so unbelievable that people will not believe it, no matter how I tell it to them. I do believe that people are smarter than believing a fool like myself and I speak from experience here."

"Come and try." challenged him Rashid.

A few days later, Rashid visited Nasreddin Hodja with a TV crew. He announced him as a sage who has lived through many calamities and has something important to say to his people. Then he asked the cameraman to turn the camera to Hodja and with a wink told him: "Your turn, Hodja."

"A new disease originating from those unclean pigs is decimating the population. Unless you put a cloth in front of your nose and mouth, as well as those of your children, you are risking your life and the life of your children." announced Nasreddin Hodja.

In two days, Rashid and Hodja met in a chaihana (tea-house), both wearing masks. "I trust the wisdom of the people," said Nasreddin, "after all, if so many people wear the masks, there must be something to it, right?"

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