Nasreddin

Nasreddin Hodja enters our world

After enjoying more than half a millennium of existence in Heaven (about seven-hundred years, by his own count), Nasreddin Hodja came to Allah, complaining:
"Dear God, forgiving and merciful, please do something to Earth, so that more people would end up here. Without newcomers from down there, existence in Heaven is becoming, well, boring. I would suggest to bring more justice and laughs to the people of Earth."
Allah contemplated Nasreddin's advice for a brief moment, then answered smilingly:
"You are quite right, Molla Nasreddin. I shall load your donkey with a hefty luggage of justice and laughs and send it down to Earth."
In less than a blink of an eye, Nasreddin Hodja found himself riding his donkey along a dusty gravel road on Earth.
Nasreddin

Salt Works!

During the 2020 quarantine, Nasreddin Hodja's neighbor Madjid noticed that Hodja was salting the sidewalk in front of his house every morning even though the winter was long gone and there wasn't much of a snow to begin with while it lasted.

"Why are you salting the sidewalk, Hodja?" — he demanded.

"To keep tigers away." — responded Nasreddin Hodja.

"Are you kidding, Hodja? Nobody has seen a tiger in these parts on anyone's memory."

"See, Madjid" — answered Hodja, raising his finger — "salt works!"

Nasreddin

Promoting tolerance. You're doing it wrong! (part 1)

To make ends meet, Nasreddin Hodja and his friend Halim decided to sign up for a construction job in the misty city of St. Petersburg in the far-away Russian land. Upon arrival, as they boarded the bus at the airport that was going to take them to the construction site, the foreman distributed an illustrated booklet titled "Migrant Worker's Handbook" (also available in Tajik, Uzbek and Kyrgyz languages) that was supposed to help newcomers to better integrate into the life of "Russia's cultural capital". The web address of the publisher reads spbtolerance.ru, undoubtedly referring to St. Petersburg tolerance.

Upon seeing the illustrations, Halim's blood boiled over with righteous anger.

"Look at those pictures! Those Russians don't even think of us as human beings! Migrant workers are being depicted as mere tools: a brush, a painting roller, a trowel and a broom!" he exclaimed. "The local doctor, policeman, bureaucrat and tourguide are humans, however. Superheroes, even. Intolerant racist xenophobes!"

migrants

"Calm down, my friend!" said the foreman with a big smile on his broad nordic face. "There is nothing disparaging in those depictions. The authors just wanted to avoid drawing caricatures of ethnic stereotypes." he continued. "Moreover, as the German proverb goes: Good tools are half the work."

To which Nasreddin Hodja calmly replied: "But we arrived to provide the other half."
Nasreddin

From KGB archives



Committee of State Security (Rus. abbr. KGB) of USSR
10/24/91, filing №1953/II
Moscow

PSEUDONYM CARD

Pseudonym: Whitey


  1. Surname: Obamov

  2. First name: Boris

  3. Patronymic: Husseinovich

  4. Year of birth: 1961

  5. Place of birth: Gizhduvan, Uzb. SSR

  6. Home address: Homeless

  7. Place of work, position: USA, president

  8. Party membership: United Russia, since 2004

  9. Ethnicity: Uzbek

  10. Citizenship: RF

  11. Education: Military academy




Personal file №13013
Category: saboteur
Date of recruitment: August 4, 1981
Recruiter: Putin, V. V.
Division #3, KGB USSR

Approved by: Medvedev, D. A.
Nasreddin

Wisdom of the Day

"If you wish to observe a human and learn about their soul, you should not delve into how he keeps silent or how he talks, or how he cries or even how he gets excited about the noblest of ideas. Instead, take a good look at how he laughs. A good laugh means he's a good person. For laughing is the most truthful sample of the soul."
Fyodor Dostoevsky, XIXth century Russian sage.


Dostoevsky Day celebrations in St. Petersburg, Russia.
Photographed by petrosphotos
Nasreddin

Wisdom of the day

"Food, Ivan Arnoldovich, is a subtle thing. One must know how to eat, yet just think - most people don't know how to eat at all. One must not only know what to eat, but when and how.' (Philip Philipovich waved his fork meaningfully.) 'And what to say while you're eating. Yes, my dear sir. If you care about your digestion, my advice is — don't talk about bolshevism or medicine at table. And, God forbid — never read Soviet newspapers before dinner."


"Actually there is evidence that even humans would not easily lose brain function with age if they followed a regimen of stochastic exercise and stochastic fasting, took long walks, avoided sugar, bread, white rice, and stock market investments, and refrained from taking economics classes or reading such things as The New York Times."